Mattie Bekink | On Getting Caught Trying

January 28, 2024

Super Women of Shanghai

Mattie Bekink

On Getting Caught Trying

China Director of The Economist Corporate Network

“If I had to pick a motto it would be ‘Get Caught Trying’. You can fail, but don’t give up.”

We are sitting in The Economist Group’s Shanghai office talking to Mattie Bekink, China Director of The Economist Intelligence Unit. Like many business professionals in Shanghai, there seems to be an endless stream of work and family tasks for her to do, but she’s carved out an hour to sit and speak to us, before heading off on a walking date with her husband to revisit some of their favorite Shanghai spots.

Having lived in China on and off since 1993 when she attended high school in Beijing, the Dutch –American – Canadian’s experiences in the country are vast. She’s a woman with many accolades, from Executive Director of the Fulbright Commission in the Netherlands to having her own consulting company, as well as a human rights lawyer, her profile is intimidating. In reality however, she is welcoming and humble. As we sit and get to know the real Mattie, the conversation becomes one that’s especially relatable to us as women; talking about the complexities of trying to do it all, while still feeling inadequate at times, and how acceptance is a constant work in progress.

“I like this motto “Get caught trying”. It gives you the permission to have courage and I think that’s what we all need now; staying through complexity and continuing to try,” Mattie continues. “I feel like sometimes when you go to these women’s events, you get the high profile women and it looks like they have it all together…”

We nod in agreement. We understand where Mattie is coming from – while it may look like it on the outside, many of us don’t have it all together; we’re constantly juggling work, family, friends, events and trying to find purpose and meaning in it all. But when Mattie mentions the word ‘permission’ it allows us to feel like everything we do – and don’t do – is okay.

“Something I struggle with a lot is allocating my time in accordance with my values,” she says, adding that as she’s found growth in her career and family obligations, it became harder to say no and set boundaries, even for people or events that weren’t priorities. “I think it’s really hard to not be people pleasing and contort myself into any direction because we’ve been conditioned to do so, and sometimes I’m asking how I’m still doing this to myself in my 40s.”

She says a huge change for her however was having children, and also losing one… her daughter. Something, she adds, she does not always share.

“I wish that never would have happened, nor would I wish that on anyone, but it does burn the barn door down,” she says, referencing a haiku by Mizuta Masahide, a 17th century Japanese poet and samurai:

“Barn’s burnt down — now I can see the moon.”

“I’m kind of afraid of nothing because the worst has already happened, but yet I lose that perspective all the time. And having lost a child, I think it makes time more precious. Working mothers have a lot of pressure feeling like you’re failing at everything, but then I have all these moments with my sons where they feel so proud…”

She laughs, telling us a recent story where she overheard her son speaking to one of his friends, saying “my mom is the boss at work.” When his friend responded, “my mom is the boss of the house,” her son added, “my mom is the boss there too!”

Throughout the conversation the juxtaposition of trying to create time and space for oneself, but also do it all and be there for everyone continues. Laughing, she jokes she hopes to win mother of the year for recently purchasing a pet snake for her sons. But, she shares with genuine pragmatism that so long as you try to do your ‘task-list’ with perspective and intention, and when you “inevitably” fail, that it’s done with grace, you can orient your compass to grow and support those choices that truly matter.

“It helps to determine what your priorities are [professionally]. There are different motivating factors (industry, colleagues, money… ). For me, especially with the decision to come back to China, this time around, it was how can I best be of service? We all have one very small life to live, so how can I use this time with the blessings and the privileges that I have to best serve?”

Mattie continues, “I think it’s also important how you make people feel. I want to be open-hearted and kind and I want to continue to challenge myself. I love that every day I have to speak a language that’s not my native tongue because that makes you exist in the world in a different way. And I have to understand things from a different perspective. I really value that.”

Additionally, there’s also the value in listening to others. Actually hearing their words and trying to understand what they’re “seeing”.

“It’s not me dodging a question because I’m not sure of the answer, but it helps me position what people’s real concerns are,” she adds.

This is especially true of her current work at The Economist Group where she has to piece together complex information and then present on it. But, she says, she loves that element of connection; it’s one thing to sit and see the numbers, but it’s another to hear what people are saying about their business, and understand their concerns and challenges.

“What I like the most about this job is always the people; the connection. I’ve always worked for mission-driven organizations; this is the most corporate organization I’ve ever worked for. But The Economist’s mission is something I actually do believe in and I value the work that we do.” She explains the difference between the better known newspaper, The Economist, and The Economist Intelligence Unit, where EICN sits, as “The newspaper describes the world as it should be and we describe the world as it is.”

We ask her to speak more on that theme of connection. After all, this has been a consistent theme throughout all of our “Shanghai Superwoman’ articles.

“Connection means authenticity and vulnerability,” says Mattie. “But not in term of needing to overshare or say or show too much. But being vulnerable enough to be authentic. I think we know the difference when you have very superficial conversations, or not. I think real connection requires that willingness to be open hearted. At the end of the day connections make the world go round. It’s so much about how you create a meaningful life. I think if you lived in a vacuum without connection it would feel very meaningless”.

And when you have those connections, they come back and offer you support – sometimes when you need it the most. Circling back to our initial conversation about ‘not feeling good enough,’ or ‘trying to do it all’, the phrase ‘imposter syndrome’ comes up. We ask Mattie to elaborate on her experience and thoughts about the concept.

“I think imposter syndrome is ubiquitous, but it’s definitely more associated with women. People expect we know everything because of this little red box (The Economist).”

But when a male colleague said to her, “Remember when you have the little red box behind you, you are not there alone. Standing behind you is the support of your colleagues. This is an extremely supportive and collaborative work environment.” It was that reassurance of her network support that gave her the confidence she needed to help move past those feelings of self-doubt.

However, of course she admits there are still moments when she’ll have to give a presentation and she hopes that no one will ask questions on some of the more complex material that she is perhaps less familiar with. She reminds herself that she was chosen for her position for a reason – it wasn’t a mistake of the company – and to accept that she won’t know it all, no one will, and that’s not a reason to doubt oneself.

“It’s learning by doing and that’s when you realize you do have something to offer. I’m still learning China all the time, and I don’t believe you really understand another country entirely, but I have been here a long time and I can sometimes offer perspectives that are useful to other people.”

She also laughs adding, that sometimes you do have to fake it until you make it, sharing a statistic that ‘something like 75%’ of people’s perception of you is in how much confidence you have. “Psych yourself up, get positive feedback!,” or as she said at the start of our conversation “get caught trying.”

As our hour draws to a close, and we hope the rain outside begins to do the same, she leaves us with this reminder: “By the time you see someone who you admire, at the end of their career it looks linear, but it never is. It’s always about making decisions in the moment. And it’s always in hindsight that there’s some sort of narrative arc.”

We thank her for her time and walk away smiling, truly impressed by the seemingly effortless narrative arc that Mattie has spun.

Super Women

of Shanghai Series

Shanghai is a melting pot of east meets west, modern and old. For the international community, it is a home away from home. In the Super Women of Shanghai (‘SWS’) series, we interview female movers and shakers of the international community, who made herstory in the city.

We hope that the series inspires females to define their herstory and move the dial to break to glass ceiling.

Lauren Hogan