Our December Thought Activator touched on a topic, which you can use across all areas of your life – negotiation. Vivien Newrzella, the creator of the program The Graceful Negotiator shared her expertise with a full room of attendees.

Vivien started by giving an example of how we often talk ourselves out of negotiating, but for all the wrong reasons, such as lack of confidence and fear of failure. She presented the participants with 4 tactics that bring real results when negotiating.

Firstly, define your “unique selling proposition”. What is your edge? Don’t hesitate to call your friends and family to figure this out. And importantly, fall in love with yourself, because you have a lot to bring to the table.

Secondly, use the “mirroring technique”. Simply repeat your interlocutor’s last 3-5 words with an upward inflection. This technique will allow you to keep the conversation going and to get more information.

Thirdly, negotiate for a “total benefit package”. Saying no is hard, so the more options you present in your package, the more likely it is that you will get some approved. It will allow for a better bargaining process, since some elements you have prepared in advance can be more flexible or even be removed, while you still get the ones that you really want.

Finally, make sure that you have a contingency tactic for a “what if” scenario. What if I reach my goal, what do I get? Then, what if I exceed my goal? Also, don’ forget a key element for the negotiation to have a tangible result, make sure that the conversation is put in writing.

Photos by Jenna Ohrnberg

A warm thanks to Vivien and all the participants, who shared their stories and achievements – it was a great learning experience. Also a big thank you to the beautiful venue for the evening, Dao Jiang Hu.

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Happy Holiday Season and see you in January for more events!